I'd never felt comfortable when people called me doctor, outside of workplace. The reason could be a few, one, I have always forced myself to like my job, and I don't want to think about if outside of my working hours. Second, please see me as a person beyond that title. Third, I had always, always, envisioned that this is a temporary stint, I'm just holding on to save money to do things that I love. Things that people thought wouldn't give a stable income, things that I used to love but after spending many years in medical field, I've lost even the skills in things that I was passionate about.
But I can't force myself to try to stay in medical field anymore. I can't lie to myself anymore. In a week, at least 1 day I would cry on the way to work. And during work, when I got overwhelmed or mentally exhausted my brain fog is so bad that I think that someday, nauzubillah, my patients' care might be jeopardized. I can't force myself anymore. I've tried. I swear.
This is really the time to let go.
I know that it is a noble job, it is a fardhu kifayah, but it is not for everyone. And you know yourself, when you are at the point of breaking down.
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