Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Did you know that, even if a child is from your blood line, from your womb, your position as a legal guardian is not absolute. You’re their legal guardian, caretaker, so long as you’re making the right decisions for them. But once you’re making decisions which may cause harm to them, your right as a legal guardian at that moment no longer takes place. That’s when Child’s Act will take place, and a legal body will be appointed to decide for your child.
A while ago, I was accompanying Dr A to Red Zone to counsel parents who wish to discharge their child from red zone
against medical advice. Now, when I say Red Zone, how would you imagine of the
child’s condition? Would it be just mild runny nose – low grade fever – comfortable child, active
as usual? Of course not!
That child
is, in fact, having labored breathing, requiring high flow oxygen. Chest X-ray
shows lobar pneumonia (lung infection). This child will require hospital
admission for oxygen supplementation and intravenous antibiotics – with close observation in acute bed at the moment. Worse comes to worse, he might need to
be transferred to high intensive care ward for higher ventilation support.
So, what
will happen if the child is brought home? 1st – he will have
difficulty breathing without oxygen supplementation. 2nd – the
infection will worsen without intravenous antibiotics. No way will antibiotic syrup be enough in this case. The child could go into septic shock – and
other added complications. The child could collapse anytime.
But of
course, Dr A did not want to activate Child’s Act without listening to the
parent’s whole story. Perhaps they are blinded by many other social and
logistic issue that they could not see – the most urgent thing here, is that
their son’s life is in danger.
Initially only
the mother is with the child – about 3 years old age boy. When explained
regarding the boy’s condition, the mother insisted on not admitting the child.
She was on the verge of crying – it was understandable, since she is still in
confinement period, having another smaller child she need to take care of. She told
us to speak to his spouse, as his spouse is the one making the decision.
When the
father arrived, he is holding a baby. There’s no one to take care of the baby
at home that night – hence, while the mother and the sick son is at Red Zone,
the father was taking care of the baby in the car. So for the conversation to
take place, I had to hold the baby outside red zone while Dr A counsels both of
the parents ( of course, how could healthy babies be allowed inside red zone –
he would be exposed to infections)
After what
seems to be like 30 minutes, the parents finally agreed to admit their child.
On our way back, Dr A explained what the issues were actually – they are not
financially well, the father can’t afford to get a leave or else he’ll be
fired. They're concerned that if the mom and the 3-year-old stays in the hospital, who will take care of the baby? But when explained
regarding the condition of their boy – his parents understood the importance of
admission and managed to get a close relative to take care of baby at home.
From this
case, we can learn a few things – 1st of all, if you’re a parent,
know that your child is protected under law until they’re 18 years old. They might
have not reach maturity to decide few things by themselves, and you are held
responsible for deciding what’s best for them. But when we, healthcare workers saw
that you’re not making a reasonable judgement, we might need to get the law
involved.
Secondly,
we, as healthcare worker (or any other professional dealing with kids), never
ever judge the parents too soon. Listen and discuss, try to find a solution. People
who are heard, hear better. Believe that
the parents actually want the best for the child, however some life
circumstances make it difficult for them to think reasonably at that moment. We
do that hoping for the best, that even when the parents refused, they are well
informed of the effect of their decisions.
All in all,
I thank Allah for the opportunity to learn these lessons – and thank you Dr A
for showing empathy which I should take for example. Hopefully you guys,
whoever are reading this, are doing well, exploring the lessons Allah has in
store for you too.
Footnote :
An excerpt from Child's Act Malaysia 2001
17 (a), (b), (c), (d), (e) was not included in the text to keep in relevance with the story
Meaning of child in need of care and protection
17. () a child is in need of care and protection if—
(f) the child needs to be examined, investigated or
treated—
(i) for the purpose of restoring or preserving his
health; and
(ii) his parent or guardian neglects or refuses to have
him so examined, investigated or treated;
