Wednesday, 14 March 2018

Of the past and living in the present

When she asked,
"what moment from the past, that you guys want to rewind?"

I took a moment to recollect.
That was, actually, the question that had been in my mind this week.
Because i felt that time passes too fast. Here comes 2018, then suddenly it's march.
Of course, there are moments that i would like to cling in to. (given that i'm melancholic-dominant type of person)
For me, maybe the time when i was with my family. When mama was still here. When i was in my high school glory (haha..not!).
But when i think deeply, maybe i don't really want to get back to those pasts. Because of who i was.
No, i don't even know Allah as my Rabb. I had an empty hole in my heart, i was lost. I was a narcissistic girl, who are more likely to be ungrateful with whatever i have. I would waste all the nikmat i have down the wrong road! I was a fool of puppy love. I would feel hurt with childish things. I have no aims, directions, whatsoever. I lived, to follow the flow. Que sera, sera...
Right now, i am still far from perfection, but i just don't want to go back down that dark hole! I  still make mistakes all the time, but at least right now, alhamdulillah i realised it was a mistake when i did it.. And so many things yet to learn and grow into.. May Allah keep us in His guidance..
I believe that, whatever Allah has destined to me right now, is the best. Some things may hurt, but it teaches me the reality of this world. This world right now is a scary place to call home, but now i know, some of its weight are on my shoulder and i've got to do something to make it better.
So now, the best thing is to live in the present! And whatever that i love from the past, i pray that i can get it back in heaven. Ameen.
To a positive 2018!

Sunday, 4 March 2018

Do you believe?

The answer to the question,
Do I believe in this?
Is a question itself.
Or a set of questions.

Would I do it even if  I am alone?
Even when no one else is watching?
Would I still do it if there are many challenges, be it physically or emotionally?

Or would I back down?

The answer, reflects my belief.

And it will take a lifetime to prove it.

Friday, 1 December 2017

Wasiat untuk Adik

Adik,

Kak irah sayang adik sangat2. Adik tau kan?
Nak sangat ada kat rumah, peluk2 cium2.
Masakkan kat adik masakan2 kegemaran adik.
Bagi motivasi, bagi nasihat. Be there.
Tapi kak irah jauh..

Allah yang selalu dekat
Dan boleh jaga adik
Tunjukkan adik jalan, biar adik sukakan kebenaran dan kebaikan
Jauhkan adik daripada segala kegelapan2 yang banyak kat dunia ni
Selamatkan adik daripada kejahatan2 makhluk lain
Mudahkan urusan adik dunia akhirat
Hantarkan dekat adik orang2 yang baik2 dan boleh tolong adik

Kak irah tak boleh nak buat semua tu
Walau kak irah dekat sekalipun, kak irah cuma mampu cuba

Sebab hati adik Allah yang pegang
Adik yang baik, yang caring, yang xselfish, ada prinsip,
Yang buat k.irah sayang walaupun kadang2 ada parts yang degil,
Moga jadi kesayangan Allah.

Sampai nanti bila kita terpisah,
Kita jumpa semula, berkelah kat syurga.
Kalau k.irah tak ada macam mama dah tak ada,
Moga adik terus kuat dan ingat,
Allah selalu ada, dia yang Maha Penyayang.
Dia boleh sayang adik lebih 100 kali ganda daripada how k.irah syg adik walaupun k.irah rasa dh overflow dh dgn ksh syg bila fikir pasal adik.
Sebab kasih sayang antara kita ni pun, tak lain tak bukan, hadiah daripada Allah.

Dan ape yg k.irah sampaikan ni, percayalah, ni jugak ape yg semua ahli keluarga kita nak sampaikan kat adik. 💓
We love u. Fly, but never forget where u come from 🐣 u are our little sunshine, no matter how grown up u will be.

Love till jannah (amin ya rabb),
Kak irah

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