Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Of broken hearts and its treatment

Sometimes i look at all of u
And what i could see are broken hearts
Perhaps, in some way, reflecting mine

What happens to those carefree smile,
Those determined spirits,
Those bring-it-on actions,
I wonder,
Are we not the same person we were?

Or is this,
The parcel and pieces of entering adulthood,
Where we learn that we are accountable of our mistakes,
That each actions leads to a cycle of effects.

But still, it's not all sorrow
There's comfort in sharing teary moments,
There's good food on the plate and very sound sleep,
There's too many countless nikmah, day by day

It's not that those stagnant state means we are not grateful
It's just that we have broken hearts, which need mendings

But to think of it, people before us, had bigger wounds, that didn't stop them from striving hard

Perhaps, because they really internalise the truth behind those verses,
"with every difficulty there is ease"
With. It comes together.

There wouldn't be a time, where there would be free of problems.
Maybe we grew up aiming for perfections. That aim, that goal, were elaborate in say, primary school or secondary school.

But once we enter the real world, this is it.
There's struggle for essential needs, needs to be socially accepted, emotional exhaustion, loss, death. Some people face it earlier than we do.

Now, time to face the reality.

That hearts do get broken. And there's no, cure-it-all-at-once treatment like we hoped so. But the hearts, need continuous treatment, till the day we die. But meanwhile, let's not stop living. May Allah show us the right way to do it.

Thursday, 9 November 2017


Di sebalik bisikan halus was-wasa
Ditambah bolak-baliknya iman
Saat rapuh

Tika itu
Pilihlah untuk kembali
Buka al-kitab
Solat dan menangislah dalam gelap

Saturday, 4 November 2017

When life gives you lemons...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

There are times when u feel like, it's dark and challenging to be here, to be you...
Yup. Everyone has those moments.
And maybe, right now is my moment..

And then I remembered one ayat (quranic verse) :
And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten." (Maryam : 23)
This is a dialogue from Maryam, when she was in childbirth, bearing Isa AS.
Reading this, it was like she was in pain, and in sadness, up to a point she wished herself to be oblivion.
That point was really challenging for her. She had to bear the pain of childbirth alone, and worried about the future. After the birth of her son, she has to carry it back to her people, and they will start mocking, cursing, accusing her of doing what's not.

And amidst that darkness, came a voice from below her,

Whereupon he called her from beneath her: “Do not worry; your Lord has placed a stream beneath you.And shake the trunk of the palm-tree towards you, and it will drop ripe dates by you.”“So eat, and drink, and be consoled. And if you see any human, say, ‘I have vowed a fast to the Most Gracious, so I will not speak to any human today.'“ (Maryam :24-26)

Some narrations said the voice was from Jibreel, while some said it was from her son, Isa AS.

It was like, look around you, Maryam, look what your Lord has provided to you!

There's a stream below you, to provide the drink you need. There's fresh, ripe dates which will fall when you shake the tree (it would normally be impossible). And fresh, ripe dates, will provide the best of nutrition to you.

And for the people, don't worry.. there's a solution. You need not reply them....

So she pointed to him. They said, “How can we speak to an infant in the crib?”He said, “I am the servant of God. He has given me the Scripture, and made me a prophet.And has made me blessed wherever I may be; and has enjoined on me prayer and charity, so long as I live. (Maryam : 29-30)

....Your newborn son will himself tell them the truth!

This surah, remind me of one thing. When Allah puts you in a difficult situation.. He will never leave you alone. Look around yourself, and you'll see that Allah has equipped you with the tools to face the situation. And there will always be a way out.

Be patient, and you'll find out that whatever difficulties it is, it was never meant to bring you down.

Maryam, at that time, though she feels the pain, she was patient and accepted Allah's decree.
The birth of Isa AS brings a new hope to the family of Imran that time. They will spread faith, and rise against the transgressor, freeing Baitulmaqdis at that time.

As for me, sometimes I wished that I am invisible and oblivion, too.
When things don't go as planned, or the responsibilities seem like a big shoe to fill on. Mission impossible? Or maybe keep on making mistakes which seems to cause permanent damage.
My dreams seem like too far-fetched from reality.

But let's learn from Maryam's story.
Maybe this is my life-changing point.
I have to be patient and keep finding solution.

When life gives you lemons...Make a lemonade!

I have a true story to tell.
The me I am now, will not be me, if not because of a sister's struggle, in her difficult situation.
It was her, who started making me ponder about my purpose of life. It was her, who re-route my life back to Allah.
Despite many people taking her sacrifices for granted. 

She might not know the impact of her struggles to me, but I am so grateful for her.

I pray that Allah always guide her towards truth and happiness, in dunya and akhirat.

Let's not give up for Allah. In everything we do for Him. Let it be becoming better practicing Muslim, daughter, student.. everything. 

May we get Allah's redho in this life. Amin

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