Frustration. Heaps of it.
I'm maybe in a state that I could not even stand alone.
But thanks to Allah, I choose to keep myself awake.
Maybe I didn't try enough. Played too much. Looooooong daydream. Overslept. Hak.
But to think of the effort that I made. I didn't think that it could be this bad. Wished it was better, of course.. But really, I could only plan.
And I FAILED to plan. So much like I'm planning to fail.
It happened before, and I used to look at the bright side. Bright side? Well now everything seems dim.
Evil exam papers.. evil. evil. evil. Couldn't even survive a class. Couldn't even breath looking at your sight. The idea of my future depends on you is ugly.
And how could I let this happen to me?
O Allah, don't let me feel so helpless. You gave me so many things but I keep sighing.
O Allah let me know what my weaknesses are. For they are so many that you need to keep me realise of that.
O Allah please let the burden off me. Make me do this only for you, for you and none others do matter. Let me realise that, cause I keep on going astray.
I'm a weak person. Need a guidance in every way. Though people can't see, I'm just a thin piece of glass pretending to be concrete. Can't stand to tall or else I'll fall. As if I could even stand tall.
p/s : shouldn't do this again. shouldn't ever. I should move on. No, I'm not alone.
still crawling slowly :) pray for my safety kay?
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