Another Chapter

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Senyum nampak gigi.. Muka blank. Nangis. Eksaited balik pastu senyum balik. All in one.

Banyak sangat benda berlaku dalam 2-3 hari ni jd rasanya nk compress in one go..

So firstly, I'm going to further my study at JJM Madicel College, Davangere, India InshaaAllah. Baru tau date arini.. Gaa 3 weeks to go..
Mmg sebelum ni dh tau pun, akan ke sana, akan study menuntut ilmu medik, tapi bila dah dekat, rasa macam... ish mcm tak percaya.. Betul ke step yg sy pilih ni? What if I couldn't survive? What if taking medic is the wrong step for me? What if I can't adapt to different environment in India? What if I lari and then become a freelance writer hahaa but seriously memang pernah fikir mcm tu.

Nervous sebab akan betul2 berjauhan dengan family pulak. Sebelum ni pernah setahun waktu family still kat Sarawak and I'm in Sepang, seriously I didn't cope well. Rasa mcm kurang kasih sayang. Yelaa memang dari dulu msuk boarding school tp 2minggu sekali balik umah. Haa nampak tak kemanjaannya di situ?

Aku bersyukur dpt uni ni yang mana ramai je kwn2 perempuan yang sesangatnye baik hati.. But still I'll miss my good old friends. Ada yang dapat uni lain, ada yang kat Kedah.. Macam arghhh jgk sebab I'll be quite awkward dgn kwn2 yg belum berpa rapat. Seriously I'll act like a clown. But InshaaAllah, I'll make attempts to be a good friend. Being far from home, yes, friends would matter a lot. Macam video ni :

Comel kan? So I'm trying my best to be a better friend, be less antisocial, bye-bye laptop mcmtu..

But suddenly bad news broke..

I'm gonna lost 3 new friends who's supposed to be my collegemates. And one of them, which I've known better than the others, supposed to be my future roomate.

Diorang ambik ausmat, kitorang yg lain ambik a-level.. Less than a month nak fly dah, dah prepare document and attend kursus bahasa India ngan ktorang kot, suddenly Indian Medical Council tak accept ausmat students. Yes, JPA just told them lepas dorg found out visa xkne approve2 lagi.. Ujian untuk diorang, yes.. Their roads to reach their dreams is a rocky road.. But the sponsors should've checked earlier.. Tak patut gamble future dorang mcm tu, sekarang dorang kena tunggu lagi n apply lagi, 8 months of their life, academic-wise, are wasted.. But inshaaAllah they'll be strong. InshaaAllah they learn something from this detour. And I've learned something from them too.

I've learned to become grateful, cause I know I wouldn't be strong if I'm in their shoes. So no more what-ifs. There's a reason I'm chosen to be here.. And perhaps, there's a better place for them.

Another bonus is that at the same time I know Allah is testing me.. Hehe. Dah tau dah lambat laun Allah akan test jgk pasal ni. You see, to be frank, I am singleroomphobic. I have these weird symptoms when I'm alone. At morning I'll be easily bored, become lazy and do useless stuffs.. While at night I'll become insomniac, cannot sleep, imagining there's a monster. Like a kid, you say? Yeah.. maybe because I'm used to have roomate. At home and at hostel. Bila roomate takdak, kalo pagi I'll sometimes just sleep to reduce my anxiety. I'll go to bilik jiran kalo malam2.But now, knowing that I'll have no roomate..(tsk tsk.. Baru je nak berkawan baik ngan hajar kan.) Maybe it's good for me to become more independent. Tak nak dah asyik2 menempek umah jiran. Be serious! Do good things at home! Overcome my fear..

Haa kan..

But please pray for my friends.. They'll apply for manipal soon.. But whatever placements they get, pray that it'll be the best for them.

Our friendship is brief, Hajar, but I'll cherish what I've learnt from you, you giggle-face.

I'm sorry I hadn't know u better Hafizati and Farah.. But I hope ada rezeki we'll meet again and I wouldn't be as sombong as I was inshaaAllah.

And during this keserabutan akal fikiran, I hope I would remember that I should never lose focus on Ramadhan. Have been losing my focus lately. Feeling so guilty :'(

Pray for them, rockyroad-wonderwomans

Pray for me, confused-serabut-fragile-unmativated

I don't wanna feel lonely.

But still I don't wanna depend too much on anyone.

Miss u alia, fizz, chema, mirah. If Allah wills it, we'll meet again. If not, I'll cherish our moments together. Learnt a lot too from u guys.

Family of course, helped me a lot during the preparations... Remind me to always keep in touch k darls :"( ..

I miss u Kak Mast.

Haven't attended usrahs except the online ones. I'm always distracted during online usrah, my bad :( so still miss usrah darat. And majalah jom. Tahpape problem my online bank account. Tapi buku lain byk lom habis baca lagi... Huu. I guess kena train myself baca more factual, without dozing off.

I missed writing in my blog too :')

Assalamualaikum. Might be a little bit busy. Pray for me :'( I'm like a ketakutan kitten in rain right now. But apalah, I should pray for myself jgk. Mintak simpati orang je.

Jazakillahi khair. May Allah bless u.. Till we meet again