Of the past and living in the present

When she asked,
"what moment from the past, that you guys want to rewind?"

I took a moment to recollect.

That was, actually, the question that had been in my mind this week.
Because i felt that time passes too fast. Here comes 2018, then suddenly it's march.

Of course, there are moments that i would like to cling in to. (given that i'm melancholic-dominant type of person)

For me, maybe the time when i was with my family. When mama was still here. When i was in my high school glory (haha..not!).

But when i think deeply, maybe i don't really want to get back to those pasts. Because of who i was.

No, i don't even know Allah as my Rabb. I had an empty hole in my heart, i was lost. I was a narcissistic girl, who are more likely to be ungrateful with whatever i have. I would waste all the nikmat i have down the wrong road! I was a fool of puppy love. I would feel hurt with childish things. I have no aims, directions, whatsoever. I lived, to follow the flow. Que sera, sera...

Right now, i am still far from perfection, but i just don't want to go back down that dark hole! I  still make mistakes all the time, but at least right now, alhamdulillah i realised it was a mistake when i did it.. And so many things yet to learn and grow into.. May Allah keep us in His guidance..

I believe that, whatever Allah has destined to me right now, is the best. Some things may hurt, but it teaches me the reality of this world. This world right now is a scary place to call home, but now i know, some of its weight are on my shoulder and i've got to do something to make it better.

So now, the best thing is to live in the present! And whatever that i love from the past, i pray that i can get it back in heaven. Ameen.

To a positive 2018!